Chairperson, today, 20 years ago, Codesa 2 started, and I wonder what the statistical chances were for us then to succeed. Well, 20 years later we know what happened. The year 2012 is going to be a big year for Statistics SA. In October, we shall know whether the money spent and the planning time devoted to Census 2011 was a success or not. All pointers go in that direction, and we are looking forward to the announcement later this year.
The hon Minister should make that announcement in Parliament, if we are in session, in order to add weight to the importance and the meaning of a proper census to the wellbeing of a country. We wish Statistics SA all the best in the final preparations towards the announcement date.
We welcome the new development regarding the planned improvements to the consumer price index, CPI, and the producer price index, PPI. The fact that the PPI weights derived from the national accounts and a variety of industry surveys and administrative sources will be updated annually from January 2014, and not every five years, is a huge improvement. Adding to that, the updating of the CPI, the survey of household expenditure, also referred to as the income and expenditure survey, will now be updated every three years. Previously, it was every five years. This is a huge improvement.
The living conditions survey becomes the new tool to update the CPI more frequently, and we are looking forward to this improved frequency which will enable the CPI to better reflect the changes in consumer expenditure patterns.
Statistics SA has a very good relationship with this finance committee. We wish you well and hope that the Auditor-General is also happy with all the steps you have taken in an effort to obtain a clean audit in 2011.
In conclusion, I want to end on a lighter note. Therefore, I have a few statistics jokes to crack. According to the statistics, male drivers are bad for the environment. British men waste six million hours of driving each year burning gas and polluting the environment because they do not stop to ask for directions.
A woman spends, on average, two years of her lifetime looking at herself in the mirror. [Laughter.] A man spends only six months doing this; however, men look at the reflection of themselves as often as women do, but it is just that women take longer.
They say a statistician is someone who loves to work with numbers but does not have the personality to be an accountant. Sorry for those at the back. [Laughter.]
If you watched the Statistician-General in his yellow suit in 2011, the question why statisticians do not like to model new clothes becomes very appropriate: lack of fit. [Laughter.] How do you tell one bathroom full of statisticians from another? You check the p-value.
According to statistics, it is proven that the celebration of a birthday is healthy. It shows that those people who celebrate the most birthdays become the oldest. Can it be true? According to statistics, all dogs are animals, and all cats are animals. Therefore, all dogs are cats. [Laughter.]
Apparently, in earlier times they had no statistics, and so they had to fall back on lies. Statisticians do it when it counts. They do it with large numbers. They say statistics are like a bikini: What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. [Laughter.]
We wish South Africa all the best towards the successful announcement of the Census 2011 results. I thank you. [Applause.]